How do I invite someone into a discipling relationship?

As I’ve said in a recent post, discipleship is both an organizational and organic investment; it’s both structured and spontaneous, formal and informal. So how do we invite someone into a discipling relationship without overlooking the need for both? For most being discipled means attending a Sunday school class or joining a small group. Where both of these will contribute to the overall growth of a Christian, neither have been very productive in producing disciples in the way Jesus showed us.

Jesus’ final words to his disciples in the gospel of Matthew, because he knew how quickly we get distracted with all kinds of “good” things, were, “Go and make disciples.” Managing the affairs of a church organization, preparing sermons, counseling, staff meetings, outreaches are all good things, but we can so quickly become consumed with these and forget what Jesus asked us to do – GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES.

And in case the disciples forgot what it meant to make disciples, Jesus reminds them to do exactly what he did with them, “Baptize (immerse) them into the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit (a new identity as members of God’s covenant family) AND teach them to do everything I’ve taught you. In other words, teach and train others to BE who I am and DO what I do.

THE INVITATION – An invitation into a discipling relationship will follow this pattern of invitation – “I’m inviting you to come be with me to learn with me and from me how to imitate the life (BE) and ministry (DO) of Jesus.”  Of course you will use your own words, but it’s helpful to know the basic message you are trying to communicate.

THE TEXTURE – We call this invitation and challenge. When Jesus invited some of the early disciples on the beaches of Galilee, he both invited them into a discipling relationship where Jesus was prepared to give them access to his life in a way no one else would experience and he also challenged them to consider the cost of such a journey. If we or they are not prepared to engage in this kind of challenge then they will not grow. Nothing in life grows without both support and challenge. Discipleship is helping others to grow in their identity as covenant partners with God as well as represent that identity well in their lifestyle and behavior.

THE CONTEXT – Your disciples will be with you on a regular basis in both formal and informal ways. I encourage a weekly formal gathering, which we call Huddle. This is a regular, consistent, predictable time to intentionally process how God is working in the lives of your disciples. There must also be informal times together. This might look like grabbing a quick lunch together, them joining you for some errands or helping you with some projects around your house.

THE EXPECTATIONS – Be honest from the beginning about what lays ahead. Jesus didn’t offer tons of details, but he did tell the disciples they would have to follow him and they would learn to be “fishers of men.” Here’s a list of some things I generally make clear:

• We will meet weekly for 1 hour for about one year. I expect your attendance will be the rule, not the exception.
• I expect you will complete assigned exercises and come to Huddle ready to participate.
• Please come ready to engage, ready to share openly and courageously.
• You will receive lots of support, but you will also be challenged to grow.
• You want to learn from me how to better imitate the life and ministry of Jesus.

 

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